


A Beautiful Lie

by pretendagain



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dark, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, slash only implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-12
Updated: 2011-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 07:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/222405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretendagain/pseuds/pretendagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an AU where Erik never left and the beach scene never happened, Charles doesn't regret the methods he's used to ensure their future together, but does Erik? Dark!Charles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Beautiful Lie

Charles Xavier walked up the small embankment and looked out over the grassy landscape before him. The school grounds had expanded over the years and now took up several thousand acres on all sides of the mansion. Hundreds of mutants had passed through the doors of the school and out into the world beyond better equipped to deal with their gifts and have a real future. To say he was proud of the accomplishment was an understatement, but he couldn't have done nearly as well as he had without the help of his companion, Erik Lehnsherr. For nearly forty years, the two of them had worked together at this school, side by side in the effort to make the lives of mutants better today than they had been in the past.

Charles surveyed the landscape before him looking for one person in particular. He could feel that Erik was nearby, but he wasn't yet sure of the other man's exact location. Then, he saw him, just beyond the gathering of trees, seated on one of the stone benches that adorned the property, scattered about so visitors, students and faculty alike could appreciate the scenery. Charles grinned and waved in the other man's direction, but received no response.

Charles shrugged his shoulders and breathed a soft sigh. Erik was no doubt lost in thought as usual. Charles had never seen a man get more tangled in his own mind than Erik could. When Erik wasn't teaching or otherwise occupied, it was quite common to find him staring straight ahead with a serious, faraway expression on his face or pacing restlessly and shaking his head as he muttered whatever arguments or ideas plagued his thoughts. It was an endearing enough trait, Charles admitted, but sometimes he still didn't really understand the other man. He supposed that was part of Erik's charm.

Charles walked up to the shaded bench and cleared his throat. “Come on, Erik. The children will be expecting us for dinner. We should get back before it gets dark.”

Erik gestured at the view before him. “Really, Charles, surely we have time to enjoy the sunset. There will still be plenty of light to lead us back after that.”

Charles shrugged and sat down beside Erik on the stone bench.

“It really is a lovely view.” Charles said after a moment or two, looking off into the distance at the way the red-orange glow at the horizon faded into darker hues just above.

Erik bent forward and clasped his hands in his lap. He looked down at his shoes and frowned.

Charles didn't even have to use his gift to decode that expression. He reached out hesitantly and placed a hand on Erik's shoulder.

“What is it, Erik?” He held back from saying _this time,_ but only just.

Erik swallowed thickly and shook his head. His next words were quiet, but steady. “I just can't help thinking, we should have done more by now. After all these years, we should have made more of a difference.”

Charles sighed and met his lover's gaze with a grim expression of his own. “And what more would you have us do, Erik?”

Erik shook his head and closed his eyes briefly, frowning at whatever images he found there. “Charles, you know I'm not criticizing. It's just - do you ever think, I don't know, maybe there was something else we could have done to make things better?”

“I think we did the best we could have with what we were given.”

Erik sat up straighter and turned towards his companion. “Maybe that's the problem! We waited for what we were given. Maybe we should have taken what was ours!”

Charles shrugged again, lifting his palms slightly in a defeated gesture. He wasn't in the mood to argue this tonight. Not again. “Erik, where is this coming from?”

Erik let out a frustrated sigh and gripped the seat of the bench with both hands, shoulders slumping forward as he looked down again. “I don't know. I just- I just wish things were better somehow, I guess. I just don't want to have failed. If there's anything more we can do-”

“I wouldn't say we've failed.” Charles interrupted, turning a steely gaze towards his companion. His mouth was set in a grim line.

“Haven't we, Charles? We've given so much to humans over the years. We've sacrificed our time and effort and sometimes our very lives to fight their battles for them, to ensure their society can succeed. We've done everything asked of us and more in the hopes of receiving a few crumbs in return, but we still hardly even have a seat at the table. Not really. We're hardly even part of the conversation! Just a token mention every now and then in the name of 'equality' or 'justice,' but they're empty words, Charles, and you and I both know it.” Erik's voice rose in determination as he spoke and even Charles had to admit to seeing a light in his friend's eyes he'd long since thought had faded.

“Erik, we have to work within the framework we're given. It's the only rational thing-”

“Damn it, Charles! Rationalism can only get you so far! We can't just sit on our hands day after day waiting on political expediency to work in our favor. We can't wait until supporting mutant rights becomes a no-cost option for the latest elected official. We have to do something now!”

Charles bit his lip. His next words were coarse and bitter in his mouth. “I rather thought we'd done more than just sit on our hands over the years, Erik. I think a lot of our students would object to your shrugging away our contributions so lightly.”

Erik raised a hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing, his face pale and lined in the early evening light. “Our contributions? We hide them away from polite society at this sanctuary of a school and then release them into the wider world with no clue how to do anything other than attempt to fit in as best they can. Humans still make petty, offhand comments about what's 'right' and what's 'normal' and mutants still have to cringe from who they really are.”

Erik's voice broke on the last word and Charles brought his arm up around Erik's hunched shoulders. His finger's stroked the coarse gray hair at Erik's temple, touch not necessary for what Charles needed to do, but it helped somehow. It helped it feel like less of an imposition, more of a comfort. At least, that's what he told himself.

It only took a slight nudge these days anyway. Charles's powers were long-practiced at this task by now. He could almost convince himself he wasn't doing anything at all. Almost, but not quite.

Charles gathered Erik closer to him and favored him with an indulgent smile. Erik looked back with an inscrutable gaze, slightly unfocused for a moment. “I- I'm sorry, Charles, what was I saying?”

Charles shook his head and patted Erik's shoulder gently. “You were just telling me about your new students.”

Erik smiled again, some of the color returning to his cheeks. For a moment the expression looked genuine and untarnished, but it quickly slipped into something more strained. Charles pretended not to see it and rose to go, offering an arm to help his companion stand. “Come on, Erik. We'll be late for dinner.”

Erik nodded and took the outstretched arm, pulling himself up with effort and leaning carefully against Charles before he gained his footing. Then, the two men walked back towards the mansion. Charles slowed his pace after a few steps to give Erik a chance to keep up. The other man tottered slightly on the uneven ground of the path, but Charles kept a firm grip on Erik's elbow.

As they approached the mansion and the old satellite dish in the distance came into view once more, Charles couldn't help but think back to the day so many years ago when Erik had moved that dish with his powers. The memory was bittersweet in some ways, but not unpleasant. In those days, Charles was sure they could do anything as long as they were together. Charles only knew of one way to make sure Erik would never leave and he didn't regret a minute of what he'd done. Even now, even after nights like these which were becoming all too frequent, when Erik's traitorous thoughts rose to the surface and pushed back against Charles's stringent ideals, Charles still believed they could do anything as long as they did it together.

There had been a few scares over the years - times when Erik had come closer than this to breaking away, but Charles wouldn't allow that for too long. He never let those thoughts progress too far. It was for Erik's own good, and the good of the children. This was a peaceful world. One with many opportunities for those who might seek them. One with hope for the future – hope that some day, mutants and humans would truly be equal, but that day was long from now.

Charles stopped suddenly as he realized Erik was not moving forward. The other man had paused to stare at the satellite dish, long since abandoned and rusted with disuse. It was a frequent fixation for him and Charles should have expected it would be on his mind again tonight.

“It's strange to think I ever had power strong enough to move that thing.”

“Your gift is still quite useful, Erik.”

Erik nodded half-heartedly and looked over at Charles. “I know, but to think – there was a time when I could have done so much more with it, could have changed the world with it.”

Charles felt his hand twitch at his side. It was tempting to try his trick again, erase even the smallest bit of doubt from Erik's mind, but he knew he shouldn't overdo it. There was such a thing as going too far.

Charles's methods weren't always ideal, but he was only trying to do the right thing. So what if it meant he was the sole arbitrator of what that right thing was. Charles's motivations were pure. That was the important thing. That was the thing to remember.

Erik offered him a sad smile. “I wasn't able to hold onto it though. I wasn't able to find the strength I needed to wield that kind of power.”

“It's alright, my friend. It's perfectly natural to lose some power with age. That's why we must train these young students to go out into the world on our behalf.”

“Yes, I suppose. Does that mean – are your powers as strong as they were before?”

“No, my powers were at a different level back then.” And it wasn't a lie exactly. It just wasn't the whole truth either.

Erik nodded, seemingly satisfied.

Charles felt a twinge of something fragile in his chest as he watched the other man walk ahead of him towards the main entrance and off to dinner. Erik had not aged as gracefully as Charles would have expected. There were gatherings of lines around Erik's mouth and eyes and his hair was nearly all white with shades of gray nearing the temples. Erik's hands shook at the end of the day, when he was tired and he walked with a slight limp and an almost shuffling gait. He'd been badly injured a few years back in a confrontation with some mutant activists fighting for independence or some other such nonsense and he'd never fully recovered. Charles had almost lost him then, but Erik had pulled through.

Charles looked down with a wry smile. He could never really lose Erik though. Not really. Charles would never let that happen.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore the idea that if Erik had stayed on Charles's side, he might end up regretting it. Dark!Charles sort of snuck up on me as my ideas took shape, but I think it works. Maybe he's more like AmbiguouslyDark!Charles. ;) I much prefer happy Erik/Charles fics, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Thanks for indulging me!


End file.
